Thursday, January 15, 2015

Just 15 Minutes Less of Car Insurance Ads Will Save You 15% or More of Your Sanity


Most of us, if pressed,  would probably agree that TV commercials have improved in terms of their quality and appeal over the years; and my guess is that most of us would attribute the use of comedy for much of that appeal.  Some do it better than others and some do it worse and more often than others.  And it’s the latter that work the gg’s  grouchiness into a lather.   So many of today’s commercials are repetitive, playing over and over and over again until we the viewers know the lines by heart.  Take my favorite (or least favorite as the case might be):  GEICO.  They must have advertising deals with every network.  I cannot remember watching any TV show in recent memory without being bombarded by three or four GEICO commercials.  You know the ones I’m talking about – those inane “everyone knows that, but did you 
know …” commercials.  And here’s another one:  those USAA commercials where the young boy thanks his mother for making him safe and protecting his future or his father or grandfather for their service when all they did was buy a life insurance policy (from USAA of course).  And then there are those ads for Progressive Insurance featuring Flo, but at least those seem to have a bit of a variety and are not the same old ads played over and over at virtually every commercial break.  I suppose we  should expect those kinds of repetitive ads from insurance companies since they seem to have all the money; and they obviously have the best marketing experts who’ve told them that this sort of constant, repetitive advertising works.  But before you get to thinking that insurance companies have a monopoly on this type of  advertising, think about  CIALIS.  There is a sameness about those ads as well, along with the obligatory warning to see a doctor if you have an erection lasting more than 4 hours.  (Hey, all you fellow geezers out there – honk if you plan to call your doc the next (first?) time you get a 4-hour boner.  I didn’t think so!)
So what can we do about it, my fellow grouches?  Well, we can do our usual and just, well, grouch, or we can take affirmative action.  Frankly,  the gg plans to continue to grouch whenever one of these repetitive ads airs on my favorite TV channels.  But I’m also going to propose this solution:  Since 15 seems to be the popular number, I propose that any time an ad that is repeated more than once every 15 days on any TV network program subjects the advertiser or its agency to a fine equal to 15% of their advertising budget for that 15 day period.  And then there’s that other trustworthy remedy – the remote.

gg



Monday, January 12, 2015



WHAT POLITICIANS SHOULD LEARN FROM CATS


The November elections  are long behind us but you’d never know it by the array of campaign signs that still litter our roads and public rights-of-way  across the land.  It’s bad enough that we the people have to endure months of crass and coarse political name-calling, verbal warfare and patently false advertising  leading up to election day in November; but to be constantly reminded of that months after the election is over is almost more than the gg's grouch meter can withstand.   My two cats do their pooping in their litter boxes but when they’re through, thankfully they cover it up immediately and don’t leave it uncovered to stink up the house.  If only our polluting politicos could learn something from them.  Yesterday, I watched two NFL playoff games on TV.  By now, with the games over,  the fans have left, the players have showered and returned to their million dollar homes, the stadium bleachers have been swept and  cleaned of trash and debris and the lights have been  turned off.  Why can’t  politicians  cover up their litter and remove their signs after their games are over?    The answer is probably that they aren’t required to.  The gg has a fix for that:  I propose a 15-day grace period after each election for politicians to remove their signs from public rights of way ; any signs  not removed after that date would subject the politician or his campaign fund  to a fine of X dollars (to be determined by each municipality) for each day that the signs remain.   I plan to launch a campaign to put my proposal into action.  May I please have permission to place a campaign sign on your property? 

gg


Friday, January 9, 2015



PLEASE DON'T TOUCH, OR DROP


A tisket,a tasket, a green and yellow basket;
I wrote a letter to my love and on the way
I dropped it, I dropped it.
~~19th Century Nursery Rhyme~~

If one of our contemporary football TV play-by-play announcers had written that old poem , it wouldn’t matter whether the letter writer had actually ever had possession of the letter – that is, actually held it in his hands. The only thing that would matter to him is that the intended recipient – his “love" – didn’t receive the letter. If he wrote it, and she didn’t receive it, then a priori he must have dropped it on the way.

What I’m getting to is the penchant these announcers have for proclaiming that any forward pass that touches the hand or hands of a receiver without being caught is “dropped.” Never mind that the pass might have been thrown with so much velocity that no human hand or hands could have caught it; or that no receiver’s arms are long enough to catch the ball thrown that far over his head or away from his body. Doesn’t matter – to these masters of the malaprop, the receiver “dropped” the ball. Never mind further that the clear and unambiguous definition of “drop” is “to let fall, intentionally or unintentionally.” That means before the receiver can be said to have “dropped” a pass, he must have had it in his possession to begin with and then let it fall. This is hardly ever the actual case; in fact, when that happens, it's called a fumble.

I suppose this is something we game watchers will need to adjust to so long as those who do football play-by-play and commentary on our TV screens are former coaches or jocks and not polished linguists. And it’s not like this is the first time;, they’ve already given us other malaprops. And the next time we hear about a “dropped” pass, we do have options: we can grouch about it or we can “audibilize” and change the channel.

gg


Welcome, fellow grouches. Come in, put on a frown and make yourselves at home. According to my family and friends, I've been a grouch for quite some time. I turned 65 a couple of years ago so now not only am I a grouch but an official geezer to boot. A Grouchy Geezer! (But truth be known, I'm a grouch only on days ending in a "Y").

My purpose here is to share some of the things I've observed and experienced over the course of my life that have peeved, annoyed and irritated the crap out of me. Things that helped make me into The Grouchy Geezer. As fellow grouches, I feel sure you, too, have encountered similar things in your lives that have peeved, annoyed and irritated the crap out of you as well. If so, you'll have the chance to share them on this site.

The format is simple. From time to time I will post a pet peeve based on a particular life experience or observation or something currently in the news or in the culture that makes me grouchy.

This will be a free and open board and anyone is welcome to comment. You may comment on my peeve or relate one of your own. Any topic is fair game as long as it is something that makes you grouchy. The only requirement is that you use good taste and refrain from personal attacks. Use of profanity will make me even grouchier and bar you from further access to the site. That means you will have to grouch to your wife, not on here.

None of this is to say that uplifting banter is not encouraged. By all means, if you have something to say that is inspiring or that might force other readers to have to suppress a smile, let us hear it. But don't overdo it; after all, it's our grouchiness that defines and unites us and makes this blog possible.

GG