Monday, May 9, 2016

IF YOU'RE OUT THERE, RAISE YOUR RIGHT FANG AND GIVE ME A BIG HISS

If there’s anyone who loathes snakes more than the gg it’s Mrs. gg.  Recently, I was summoned by her to our front driveway to dispatch a copperhead who had ventured onto our property from the neighbor’s garden.  Following that episode, I went to the hardware store to purchase some snake repellent, thinking that would encourage all existing snakes to leave and at the same time discourage any would-be newcomers.  Boy, was I wrong,  Now if there’s one group of varmints that make me grouchier than snakes it would have to be the folks that write product instructons, warning labels, etc. on the boxes and packages of items that we purchase for our day to day lives.  I think in industry parlance they are called technical writers. The gg was all prepared to buy this snake repellent when  I read this warning on the back of the box:  “Do not use this product if snakes are already present on your premises..”  I pondered that statement for a while and then I pondered it for a greater while.  And then I tried to apply it to my present situation by first asking myself:  How in the world do I know whether there are any snakes already present on my premises?  And if there aren’t any, then what am I doing here purchasing a product that I don’t really need because I don’t have a snake problem?  I wound up buying the snake repellent but I still haven’t found a way to determine whether I have any preexisting snakes on my property so I don’t violate the warning on the product box.   Snakes make the gg very grouchy.  What makes the gg even grouchier are puzzling instructions written in small print by obviously puzzled technical writers on the back of the box of a product that I can’t tell if I should buy .


gg
Welcome, fellow grouches. Come in, put on a frown and make yourselves at home. According to my family and friends, I've been a grouch for quite some time. I turned 65 a couple of years ago so now not only am I a grouch but an official geezer to boot. A Grouchy Geezer! (But truth be known, I'm a grouch only on days ending in a "Y").

My purpose here is to share some of the things I've observed and experienced over the course of my life that have peeved, annoyed and irritated the crap out of me. Things that helped make me into The Grouchy Geezer. As fellow grouches, I feel sure you, too, have encountered similar things in your lives that have peeved, annoyed and irritated the crap out of you as well. If so, you'll have the chance to share them on this site.

The format is simple. From time to time I will post a pet peeve based on a particular life experience or observation or something currently in the news or in the culture that makes me grouchy.

This will be a free and open board and anyone is welcome to comment. You may comment on my peeve or relate one of your own. Any topic is fair game as long as it is something that makes you grouchy. The only requirement is that you use good taste and refrain from personal attacks. Use of profanity will make me even grouchier and bar you from further access to the site. That means you will have to grouch to your wife, not on here.

None of this is to say that uplifting banter is not encouraged. By all means, if you have something to say that is inspiring or that might force other readers to have to suppress a smile, let us hear it. But don't overdo it; after all, it's our grouchiness that defines and unites us and makes this blog possible.

GG