GEEZER PARKING ONLY

Since my stroke in March of 2020, I now think of my life history in terms of two distinctly different time references -- pre-stroke and post-stroke.  In my pre-stroke life, I thought the most despicable human beings were arsonists, rapists, and swindlers.  In my opinion, those people deserved to be  a sent to the nearest penitentiary after first having their fingernails  non-surgically removed.

Now, in my new post-stroke world,  i would add  to those perfectly healthy people without handicaps or physical infirmities who park their vehicles in parking places legally reserved for handicapped persons.The worst infractors aamong this species are younger males who apparently derive some strange and shameless pleasure or satisfaction from backing their oversized pickup trucks into these spaces.  Close cousins of theirs are drivers of usually small cars driven by younger females who either have no handicap sticker or rear view mirror hanger but who nevertheless believe they have some special birthright to these spaces. I confess outright that my animosity toward these violators is relatively recent and was not prominent in my pre-stroke life.  In fact, any negative feelings I had in those days were directed  toward government initiatives and regulations mandating special privileges to the handicapped population such as those flowing from the Americans With Disabilities Act (ADA).  Sometimes it seemed as if I would circle a parking lot for hours without finding a parking space when the handicapped parking spaces were unoccupied. " Why can't they -- the handicapped -- just stay at home?" I might ask rhetorically.  The ADA, I would tell myself, just drives up the cost of construction of  buildings used to serve the public, and those costs get passed onto us in the form of higher prices  for the goods and services we the public consume.  To make a long story shorter -- I didn't have enough sympathy for handicapped persons to advocate for their entitlement to special parking priviliges, much less at my expense as a taxpayer. So I was not especially offended if I saw a non-handicapped person park in a reserved- for- handicapped parking space, though I never did that myself.

 Fasting forward to my new post-stroke world, it should come as no surprise that the gg's view of this issue  has now undegone a complete reversal.

Being newly handicapped myself,  I now  have a new-found solidarity with the handicapped community,  I've learned from personal experience what a struggle it can be to get into and out of a vehicle and to ambulate into a building, be it a grocery store, restaurant, doctor's office, museum, library, concert hall, sporting arena or any other facility subject to the ADA.  And the greater the distance to be traversed, the harder the struggle to get there. So for the old gg, my new public enemy number one is the person who would make my already challenging life yet more challenging by parking in a place reserved for me and others like me.  Those people who do that make this grouchy old geezer even grouchier than usual. 

gg

THE GG RETURNS ... AGAIN

Greetings once more, fellow grouches -- the old Grouchy Geezer returns after his latest -- and longest -- hiatus of 15 months.  My absence this go-round was not due to anything trifling, unless there are readers among you who live on the really dark side who might regard a stroke -- yes... a stroke for godsakes ... as something trifling.  

Yes, the gg suffered a fairly major stroke in March of last year ( 2020).  I can assure one and all there is nothing trifling about a stroke.  Even if one is fortunate enough to survive such an event , as I thankfully was, a stroke is a major life changer. Most of the changes of which I speak are bad -- in my case. the stroke took away most every function I had on my left side.  I had limited use of my left leg and no use of my left arm or left hand, though after 16 months of intense therapy I have regained enough leg movement that I can now get around with a quad cane and I am gradually seeing some improvement in my arm abd hand; however, I can only type with one hand, so that makes maintaining this blog more difficult, so I plead with you dear readers to overlook typos and other errors you are likely to see from time to time.

Those are the bad life changes.  I want to do something out of the ordinary for this old grouch and talk about some of the good changes. For starters, my stroke has allowed (or maybe forced) me to focus on the things that are truly important in this life, beginning with life itself -- things such as family -- Mrs. GG and I welcomed the arrival of two grandchildren during this 15-month period, with one more scheduled for September --  add to that good music and good literature, which I am consuming in greater quantities and frequencies than before my stroke.  Perhaps most significant  of all, it has confirmed for me the value of humor in every human endeavor.  Even in my darkest moments, humor has been as great a tool for me as my therapy.My goal is to keep my therapists in stiches every time I have a session ( currently, three times a week ).

So there you have it.  The Grouchy Geezer is happy and excited to announce that he is back once again.  I have a pent-up supply of nuisances to share with you starting soon.  I just felt I owed you the readers an explanation about where I've been.  I'm pretty sure at least some of you have been on pins and needles waiting to find out.  Haven't you?

Can We Live in a 2020 World Without 20-20 Vision?

As we approach the end of the first week of the last year of the second decade of the century (hey, I know I could have just said “2020” but then that wouldn’t be nearly as much fun),  I know there are some among the readers out there who have wondered if perhaps the old gg will turn over a new leaf and display at least a slight amount of optimism and cheer in this the new year.  I’ve asked that same question of myself.  The answer is an emphatic no. 

It’s not that the gg wants to be a grouch.  It’s not that I wouldn’t welcome a chance to be more sanguine – it’s just that there are simply  too many annoyances out there for that to happen.  I’d hoped that might change, but hope turned to nope on the very first day after New Year’s. It began when the gg and Mrs. gg came home  with groceries and discovered that the potato chips in the lower one half of the potato chip bag were all crushed.  Again.  This was nothing new, but in the past this transgression was not severe enough to raise a hair on the back of my neck. But now it stood nakedly as a harbinger of things to come.  Right there, down the drain went any hopes for a good beginning to the new year.  But had the previous  New Year’s day have turned out differently, this latest potato chip crush caper might still have gone without mention.  New Year’s day, which the gg spent  binge watching college football games, should have been an omen.  During one of the games, a defensive back was disqualified from the game for targeting, meaning he thrust his helmet intentionally into the head of an opposition player.  There was no disputing that it was, indeed, targeting.  When this occurs, the procedure is that the referee announces that the player has been suspended.  In a straightforward world, what one would anticipate next is that the player walks off the field toward the sideline, sullen and with head bowed, and is then escorted from the field  to the locker room by a team representative to a chorus of boos.  Targeting is a serious offense.  It could seriously harm its victim, causing a concussion and possibly even leading to life-long trauma.  One would therefore think the perpetrator of targeting would be subjected to condemnation and scorn by virtually everyone in the stadium.  Wrong.  What I witnessed was the player’s team mates and even coaches rushing to greet and shake the player’s hand once he came off the field, as though they appreciated what he had done.  And then there was the crowd reaction.  Most –I won’t say all—of the crowd clapped and applauded as the guilty player walked off the field  waiving to them  It was though he was a gladiator who had done something heroic and worthy for his team, or his tribe.

What is going on here, I asked myself?  As usual, I didn’t have the answer.  But then I realized that what had transpired on that football field was nothing but a mirror of what seems to be  happening all around us in our broken society.  Everything is topsy-turvy.  What was once wrong is now okay.  What was once okay no longer is.  Virtually nothing is verboten anymore. Right is whatever our tribe wants it to be and says it to be.  Wrong is wrong only in the eye of the beholder. Truth is relative.  We see only what we want to see.

Yes, the gg had hoped 2020 would not start out this way.  I should have known better.  As long as potato chip makers continue to sell bags of potato chips with one-half of the contents crushed, as long as self-serve service stations fail to provide the simple service of delivering a gas receipt at the pump, so long as . . . (see my Top 10 List from 2019),  and so long as good people fail to condemn wrong when it stares them directly in the face, the Grouchy Geezer will have plenty to write about in 2020.  Can we make it through the 2020s with less than 20-20 vision? Stay tuned.

No Wonder Our Backs Hurt -- If We're Not Busy Springing Forward We're Busy Falling Back

Well, it's that time of year again.  No, not Halloween or Thanksgiving or World Series games that last 'til midnight.  I'm talking about that other American institution called Daylight Savings Time. Yes, it's time time to turn the clocks forward, or wait ----isn't it back this time?  The gg gets confused.  So far, though, I've only been an hour early to two events.  And eating dinner in what seems like the middle of the afternoon isn't really all that bad. But still, the gg doesn't like it.  And if you've seen the gg's  other posting today, you'll notice that Daylight Savings Time (DST) was No 5 on my Top 10 List of Annoyances and Irritants.

Some of the readers have asked that I re-post my Posting from March 15, 2010 on this subject.  Rather than do that, I'll just ask that you look at the Archive column on the right side of this Post and click on 2010 to find the 2010 posting.  That way, the gg can use this Posting for the following poem I have written for this occasion:

         At my door I thought I heard a knock
         Just a dream, said my wife; go to sleep
         But there it goes again, followed by a voice deep:
         "We're the Feds come to change your clock!"

         They want us to change the time, to "fall back;"
         To pretend it's three when it's really four;
         Maybe it's time we finally take the ball back
         And say we won't take this any more.

         But at morn, dutifully I will let them in I know
         To change the clock time and date;
         Then it's off to work I go;
         I wonder, will I be early or late?

         I wonder if there's a DST in heaven
         And if so, there, is it six or seven?

DST Brain Teaser:  Assume you are in Anchorage, Alaska the day before DST goes into effect and you are flying to New York City to arrive that evening.  What will you need to do to your watch that evening before you turn in?

gg

Top 10 List of Annoyances and Irritants -- Letterman Style

Fellow Grouches,

As promised a week or two ago, I am posting my Top 10 List of Annoyances and Irritants.  If these look familiar, you'll find that many of them have been the subject of my postings over the past years.  See if you can find one or two you agree with or write me with any others of your own.

Here they are in reverse order:

11.  (This one is a bonus.)  Those slick little bags used in the produce department of your local grocery store to bag fruits and vegetables; you have to rub them together at the top just right to get them to open.

10.  Sports events (read: World Series games) that last until midnight

 9.   Gas service stations that are unable to dispense a receipt at the pump

 8.   Kinky garden hoses

 7.   Daylight Savings Time

 6.  Pill bottles with print too small to read

 5.  Items purchased in packaging that can only be opened with a blow torch

 4.  Trains without cabooses

 3.  Remote control devices

 2.  Battery-powered home smoke detectors that beep only at night

 1.  Mercants who display their Christmas goods before Halloween (this year's prime culprit: 
          Walmart (for the 3rd consecutive year)

There you have it.  Not sure ol' Dave could have done better. Next time, maybe the gg will post a Top 10 list of reasons to do away with Top 10 lists.

gg

Coming Soon -- Another One of Those Annoying Top 10 Lists

The Grouchy Geezer has reached the stage of life when it is well nigh impossible for me to stay up past the hour of 10 each evening.  Even when I don't go to bed by that hour, I can usually be found splayed out in my recliner, sound asleep, snoring loudly, while the local 10 o'clock newscaster is busy in the background describing the havoc that has taken place in the nearest city during the day and early evening.  (Come to think of it, sleep is probably the best antidote for the quality of the news these days.)  There was a time when the gg could stay awake and suffer through the news just to be able  to watch and listen to my favorite late night comic.  For me that was David Letterman.  Not even close.  I loved Letterman's Top 10s.  He had a Top 10 for just about every topic one could think of.  And they would get progressively funnier the closer he counted down to No. 1.  The people who wrote  for the David Letterman show were brilliant.  I guess they still are.  I think if I had not become by default a professional curmudgeon, I would have enjoyed being a writer on that show.  Thinking about David Letterman has got the gg to pondering whether perhaps I should come up with a Top 10 of my own.  Everyone has a Top 10 list of something -- why not the Grouchy Geezer.  After an exceedingly short deliberation, I have decided to do just that:  I am hereby announcing that I will soon, in the very near future,  produce a Top 10 list of things that irritate me the most -- things that do the most honor to the name Grouchy Geezer.  Most things on the list will not be a surprise.  All you have to do is look back through the years at my postings.  The hardest thing for me will be ranking them in Top 10 order.  To keep it interesting, I'll try to come up with a surprise or two.  If you, the readers, have any suggestions of your own from your own Top 10 lists, by all means send them to the gg and I might consider them for my own list.  Stay tuned!

gg

We Won the NLCS and All We Got Was This Lousy Pennant

Don't look now, fellow grouches, but have you noticed how some words have simply disappeared from the English language, or at least from our everyday conversations.  And not just that they have disappeared, but that they have done so seemingly without anyone noticing.  We can all think of and expound on examples of these if we just put our minds to it.  But there is one word in particular that has been on my mind the past few days. It is a word that used to be a prominent fixture this particular time of year (October)in the sporting world.  If you haven't guessed by now, the gg is talking about the word "pennant."  Is anyone out there besides the old gg been around long enough to remember when the champions of the American League and the National League in Major League Baseball were said to have won the "pennant?" Who can ever forget the headline in every East Coast newspaper on the morning after that infamous October 3 day in 1951 when the legendary Bobby Thompson hit his legendary game-winning home run off the bat of the hapless Ralph Branca of the Brooklyn Dodgers --  "Giants Win Pennant!"   Sadly,  today's sports writers are too young to have experienced the excitement of that day and what, indeed, was the contribution to baseball lore of that moment that allowed the upstart Giants to overcome a 13 game deficit on the last day of the 1951 season to win the "pennant."  Yes, the PENNANT.   No, today, we are informed that "the Nationals (Washington, DC) have won the National League Championship Series."  Let's say it again -- the "National League Championship Series."  And after tonight, perhaps we will be told by these same writers that "the Astros (Houston) have won the "American League Championship Series."  I have not read one report or heard one sports talking head mention the word "pennant."  It is as though that word has evaporated from our baseball lexicon.  What next, the gg wants to know -- will we be told that the Nationals or the Astros have won the "Major League Championship?"  Will the words "World Series" be the next to join the terms "pennant" and "Texas Leaguer" (used to describe a pop-up into the short outfield just beyond the infield) in the junkyard of baseball terminology?  The gg deeply misses the word "pennant."  This time of year, I long for it. It's a short word, easy to spell and easy to pronounce.  It is readily identifiable in the minds of everyone who can remember what baseball was like in those halcyon days and years when there were only 8 teams in each league and there were no playoffs.  The gg enjoys the modern-day playoffs as much as the next grouch, but I still wonder why they can't still refer to the prize of winning the League championship the "pennant."  Why can't we preserve that one remnant from a sport that once was our "national pasttime?"  After this week, I plan

to rattle every professed sports fan I know under the age of about 60 with this question:   "Who won the pennant this year?"

gg