PSST -- HEY MEESTER -- WANNA SEE SOMETHING KINKY?

When the old gg is not encamped in my study ruminating about the  world’s injustices and contradictions, I can sometimes be found outside trying to connect together various lengths of garden water hoses so that I can water the  paltry amount of grass and plants around the house that have managed to escape the ravenous appetites of the  varmints and critters that frequent this place during the nighttime hours.  This is often a challenge since all my hoses were, when I bought them years ago, the cheapest available in the local hardware store.  Like the gg himself, they are old and leaky.  This past week,  after much tugging, pulling and twisting on the old things,  I was finally able to assemble enough of them together to be able to do some watering.  However, when I finally turned on the spigot, nothing happened, meaning  no water came out the open hose end.  Over time, I’ve learned instinctively to recognize the problem – the deadly KINK.  Not one or two, but several.   This time, I’d had enough.  I gathered up all the old hoses and threw them into a corner of the garage.  Then I set out to the same local hardware store and bought 4 brand new water hoses in various lengths.  More importantly, this time I bought hoses that were represented to be “kink-free.”  Made out of rubber and not vinyl, I paid a pretty penny for those things but I told my self it would be worth it to no longer have to contend with kinky water hoses..  Today, I hooked up two of the new hoses so I could water a portion of the garden.  After connecting one end of the hose to the spigot and screwing on my hose nozzle to the other end, I was ready to enter watering nirvana for the first time in many years.  I turned on the water and put the nozzle on “spray.”  But to my utter surprise, once again nothing happened.  Zilch. Nada.    Walking back along the length of the brand new hoses, there it was – the biggest kink I had ever seen in a water hose, and believe me, the gg has seen plenty of those.  Tomorrow,  I’m going to return the hoses to the hardware store and grouch at the man or lady behind the counter who sold me kinked hoses they said wouldn’t kink.  Tonight, I going to sit in my study and ruminate about why it is that some companies sell products that aren’t what they say they are or that do or don’t do what they say they will or won’t do. 

gg